It can be hard for many people to achieve a positive mindset. Life can be difficult for many different reasons and there is a wide variety of aspects that can negatively affect your mood.
Thankfully, there are many ways of giving our minds the best possible way to be positive. In this book, we focus on seven practical tips that are going to give you a more positive mindset and improve your life.
If you follow these tips you’ll have a much better chance of obtaining happiness and being successful in both your personal life and your career.
Chapter 1: Turn Failures into Lessons
Ever wondered why successful people put so much emphasis on learning from mistakes? It’s a universal truth that life is all about turning your failures into a path of success but it’s also through failures themselves that we get exposure to the harsh realities of life.
The secret lies in learning from your failures rather than getting disappointed by them. As a general rule, this principle can be applied in all walks of life but it becomes much apparent in our practical life.
The harsh reality is that you will be confronted with multiple points of failures when it comes to people and the jobs you undertake.
Accept Your Failures
The power of accepting your mistakes or errors is the first rule you need to keep in mind. In essence, accepting failure showcases your willingness to learn. Some of us, due to ambition or egoism, deny the fact that they failed and instead blame their failures on others as a source of keeping themselves motivated. This can be catastrophic for your career or life. If you do not accept your failures, chances are your learning capacity will remain stagnant.
Don’t Let Failure Consume You
When you have failed in a certain project, don’t think that it should have been easy. It will be hard, you will be tested and the burden of proving yourself will be immense. This is the point where most people break down. They either give up or become accustomed to failures and forget to learn. This is where you need to accept the fact that you made the mistake and you’re willing to prove yourself.
Don’t Fear Failure
Don’t be afraid to fail. Failure itself is not dangerous. The danger lies in the fear of facing failure itself. The thing is when we fail whether in establishing a positive relationship with a coworker or in a task. Our instinct tells us that such a situation should be avoided in the future. This is where you need to change how you think. Do not avoid chances of failing. Rather, when you’re confronted with failure, learn it and make sure to not repeat the same mistake.
Consistency Is The Key To Success
We are not talking about the consistency to fail. We are emphasizing the point that learning from your mistakes should be a consistent factor. The fact is maybe you’ll fail multiple times and you might get overwhelmed by the criticism. During this process, you fail to learn anything significant. It is all about how well you can manage criticism and become consistent in learning.
Learn From The Failure Of Others
You are not the only one who fails. There are successful people out there who have failed before. You will have coworkers who will be failing may be in the same tasks as you. The point is, consider the world you live in as a place where there are opportunities to learn at all times. Learning from the failures of others can be a great way to avoid going down the same road in the future.
Chapter 2: Focus on The Good Things
Focusing on good things might seem easy, but is it? The media is awash with all sorts of negative news. Every day comes with its own set of challenges. A forced smile has become commonplace. Having a real laugh has become a mirage.
It is easy to get lost in the negatives, but remember the words of John Milton, “The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.” This quote is geared at ensuring you focus on the good things around you.
Count The Good Things
As small as they might be, they are tangible. Remembering only the things that go wrong will only get you worked up and stressed. Your health will suffer for it.
Even in times of darkness, there are numerous aspects of life to be thankful for. Remembering all the good in your life will help you not to be consumed by any negatives and leave you with a much more positive mindset.
One of the ways to ensure you focus on the good things is to identify your sweet spots – those things that make you happy. It is that simple. If it is family, have videos of those family moments on your mobile device and indulge yourself in such whenever things look gloomy.
Unsure about what makes you happy? Well, everyone has something or someone that makes them happy. You will just have to do some soul-searching to find yours and when you do, make it a habit to keep yourself happy. Fortunately or unfortunately, life isn’t a video game, so just be happy while you have the chance.
Focusing on good things can be difficult with the negative vibes coming from the world around us. One way to block out these negative vibes and energy around you is through meditation.
Meditation is akin to wiping the slate of your mind clean. This could be great considering the toxicity in the world right now. Like a blank check, your refreshed mind after a meditation exercise gives
you a unique opportunity to fill your mind with only the good things.
Meditation helps you understand how your mind works and you can use that to your advantage in seeing only the good in everything.
Perspective Is Everything
Different events highlight the importance of perspective in your general well-being.
The long debate of a half-empty, half-full glass might have raged on long enough, but what side of the divide will always weigh on what you see around you? Changing such a perspective, if negative, might not be easy, but you just have to take the first step and acknowledge your position.
It is said that good things come to those who wait, but that is probably flawed. There is enough good around us, if we only open
our eyes to see them. Maybe then we wouldn’t keep waiting for
something that is already before us.
Chapter 3: Start the day in a Positive Mood
Mornings bring the joy of another day in your life. The way you start your day determines the rest of it and on a larger scale the outlook towards life. If you are not a morning person and wake up exhausted, you can end up not seeing the good things that can happen throughout a day.
Have A Positive Thought
This is so because you are overlooking small details and aspects for which you can be grateful in life. Your happy mornings don’t necessarily have to be a complicated routine, it can involve simple things as a small positive thought.
All you have to do is to give it a try. Every day comes with new opportunities you only have to seize the day and take a moment to appreciate little happenings. All small actions in the morning can brighten up your whole day.
On waking up the first thing to do is simply think about your positive attribute that makes you or people around you happy; the things that you do best. It will urge you to step out of your bed in a happy mood and you can make the best out of it. A study reveals that people showing gratitude not only are optimistic about their life but also possess physical fitness because of their positive attitude.
Stretching in the bed for few minutes can improve your mood and boost your energy as it releases dopamine. It is reputed as a feel- good hormone. It enables you to concentrate on your work throughout the day and to stay motivated. Removing the curtains to enable the view of sunlight, the sound of chirping of birds and fresh air can have a refreshing impact on you.
Don’t Skimp On Sleep
A night of good sleep is required for a good morning. People who hit the bed early wake up with a calm mind. When you have enough sleep you get ample time in the morning to do something that gives you pleasure such as a small walk, taking caring of yourself or carrying out your hobby.
You will not have to push yourself to start a practical day. This is how your day can also progress in a positive direction by starting with content mood and peace of mind. Being late for work or missing something you wanted to do is a terrible way to start a day.
A positive day needs a to-do list. Whether you have a big assignment to present or a small gesture of kindness all you need is to plan it. The things done with the clarity of mind are executed efficiently. People who run their errands haphazardly often fail to get the desired outcomes. Your planning helps you to prioritize the things and prepare you to take on the day.
Another thing to keep you propelled throughout your day is how you would like to sign off your day. Think of some ways how you want to treat yourself and to look forward to something enjoyable
will put a smile on your face the entire day. Anticipating something pleasurable can bring delight as much as the event itself.
Chapter 4: Surround Yourself with Positive People
Thoughts and attitudes are contagious. The people we surround ourselves with impact who we become. In an analogy, the dieticians will say we are what we eat. Similarly, the relationship coach will say we are who we socialize with. If our social circles are built with negative people, we will be negative person. If you surround yourself with positive people, you will be a positive person.
So, what renders positive the context of the relationship?
Whether it is about friends, colleagues at work or even family, positive people see light where darkness is obvious and perceive hope where despair is eminent. An optimistic co-worker will inspire you when you’re distraught about a failed task. An affirmative friend or family will say, “It is okay,” instead of giving you the cold shoulder.
Positive relational contexts are not only about receiving positive treats from others. They are also about offering positive vibes to others. You do not expect to put vinegar in a glass and drink seasoned wine from it. What you give is what you get.
It All Depends On You
If you bump into a person and they hail insults at you, your word of apology may easily turn to a defence phrase. But if the person allows you to express your regret, you elicit a kind word of “no worries.” Positive begets positive. If your attitude towards people is positive, you create pleasant company for yourself. Here are four traits you should cultivate to nurture an environment of positive people around you.
1. Nurture A Positive You
Nurturing a positive self-image is not just about the ‘feel-good effect’. It’s also about the impact it has on others.
If you are a positive person, people appreciate you and offer you their best self. The physics law that ‘opposites attract’ does not hold here. Positive attracts positive.
2. Give Positive Meaning To Life
One of the many flaws of contemporary society is offering us lemons when we look for oranges. Go by the counsel, ‘if the world offer you lemons, make lemonade.’ In whatever context, being that friend or colleague who communicates the ray of light at the end of a tunnel will lead others to be equally positive.
3. Give People A Chance
If there is a context where the saying ‘do not judge a book by the cover’ applies literally, it is in relationships. Sometimes we look at people and label them, ‘boring,’ ‘antisocial’, or ‘arrogant.’ Once we interact with them, we discover how unfair we have been.
Sociology tells us ‘we are what we think others think we are.’ If others perceive a positive evaluation from my part, they’ll probably offer their best self to me.
4. Offer Others The Best Side Of You
We all have faults, and sometimes the world and its survival demands bring the worst out of us. Being the boss who understands that anyone can lag with work once in a while cultivates the employee who will stay overtime when urgent work needs to be done. You breathe positive air and it comes back to you in equal measure. Be positive, and positive will be contagious.
Chapter 5: Find Humor in bad Situations
Humor is a great way to deal with the stress and it makes you closer to the people. We do not have control over some things that happens with us and we start blaming ourselves for the bad things without realizing that we are getting tougher or how these things shape our future.
Humor is the thing that makes you feel relax and for some time you forget about bad happenings. Every comedian had some kind of dramatic past. They all found humor and became a comedian because they know that laughter heals every pain and heartache.
Don’t Take Life Too Seriously
It’s good to find humour whenever you start taking life too seriously. We have just one life and we have to enjoy it whatever the situations we are in, we must make ourselves free and start enjoying life. Sometimes death reminds us how to live life and make the most of every opportunity.
Sometimes we fall for a person who is not good for us and we know that fall more and more but in the end, our hearts break due to that person. That time we always curse our luck and are heartbroken so at that time laughter heals our pain and take us to live. Our heart becomes stronger and we learn how to move on. Then we laugh on the nights we cried for stupid things.
We cannot change what has happened but we can make ourselves more relaxed about those things by finding humor so that we feel good and can decrease stress. We must forget about the past and try not to repeat those mistakes.
It Requires Hard Work
It is not easy to find humour in a bad situation. Sometimes a situation becomes worse for you so at that time always remember positive things and a good time you spent with your family and friends. It will help you to build up again and heal your wounds and you will feel happy that you face troubles and don’t let them weigh you down.
We must build up the habit of humour. This can be done in different ways. Firstly, start taking things lightly and do not get stressed about everything. Secondly, start with the common practice at your workplace or at home. Lastly, look for the light sides of the problems and their solutions. These are some main points that will help to build up humor that will help you when you are stressed.
Humour is both positive and negative. Positive humor helps us to reduce stress but a negative form of humours such as jokes have a negative effect. It decreases social support and makes it difficult to get attached to people and increases the stress level.
No one wants to feel bad or feel sad whenever they recall their past. When you look back what you want to see is the main question
because no one wants memories of crying or worrying about things. So instead of crying or being sad make yourself able to learn the power of humour and find humour at the time of difficulty.
Chapter 6: Focus on The Present
If you want to live happily, then you should stop worrying. Only focus on your present because you have not no other option or a single choice.
You should be in the present moment and don’t dwell on any negative past issues. It will only consume you and will simply make your future unhappier.
Thinking forward instead of looking back will allow you to free your mind. You could be bitter about a past relationship or a job but that isn’t going to help you moving forward.
You can change your future but you can’t change your past. With that in mind, it doesn’t make any sense to focus on the one that you can’t change instead of the one that you can.
Renew Your Mind
If you forgot your past, then you will be like a newly born baby who doesn’t know what is good or what is bad. You will just focus on your present things and enjoy your life.
So, live in the present just like a newborn baby. Your past may have been good or bad but don’t think about it and don’t waste your time. Also, thinking too far ahead of yourself can give you unrealistic expectations. It can make you forget the steps that you need to take today and get you down.
Past is history, future is a mystery and today is a gift. That is why it is called a present, so you should enjoy your present. While they might be clichés, they still ring true.
Focusing on the happy moments and neglecting the failures will lead to a happy and successful life. Thinking about the past will not only take your eye off the good things but it will also prevent you from having a positive future.
Breathe And Focus
The best way to lead a happy life is to stay focused on the target and forget what happened in the past. Be confident about your performance because thinking about the expected results will make you overthink.
You should only be thinking about the past if it relates to learning from your mistakes. As we have been, you can turn that into a positive as well to change your future behavior.
You can only control what happens now. Let go of previous pain and be happy with what you have right now. Many people can obsess over the ‘perfect’ life but that isn’t the way to be.
Don’t Obsess Over The Future
In can be easy to invest too much time and effort in the future. Thoughts such as ‘this will make me happy’ can be dangerous as it shows that you’re not appreciating what you have right now.
Setting targets and goals can be useful but only when done constructively. You always need some sort of future planning but always looking ahead can prevent you from being happy right now.
A balance is required to appreciate the present, learn from your mistakes and plan. Whatever you are doing, always find the positive aspects of the present.
You don’t need to be rich or have material possessions to be happy. Find out what makes you happy in the present and work on that. With that in mind, you’ll have a much more positive mindset.
Chapter 7: Transform Negative Thoughts into Positive Ones
Have you ever heard of the phrase “your thoughts can kill you?” Well, this statement is more accurate than most people realize. Your thoughts, whether negative or positive, can change your life and the person that you become.
It is for this reason that negative self-talk is so dangerous. What you tell your mind is what you adopt eventually. It is, however, essential to acknowledge that transforming your brain to think positively isn’t a walk in the park. It requires full commitment; otherwise, the negative thoughts will win. So what are the real ways to change your way of thinking?
Start Forgiving Yourself
Most people, if not everyone, have tried positive affirmations. If you haven’t, then these are words used to develop a positive mental attitude.
That is when you are told not to think of yourself as a failure and instead tell yourself, “I am a winner.” There is nothing wrong with this. However, you should aim to acknowledge your shortcomings and forgive yourself for that.
Forgive yourself for believing that you have failed. Forgive yourself for embarrassing yourself. Acknowledge those things that don’t make you happy to relieve some tension. Once that happens, then you may begin working on transforming yourself and your thoughts into positive ones.
Focus On Taking A Step Rather Than Perfecting The Level
One of the causes of negative self-talk is thinking of yourself as inadequate. You focus on what you haven’t done well rather than realizing that you did something. It is not enough to tell yourself that “I am smart and brilliant.” You need to show how smart you are by taking a step in achieving your goal.
Start believing that you are brilliant and let it show in every little thing that you do. Forget about making everything perfect since perfection can be realized amidst several imperfect trials. Learn from the first step you take, and you will be well on your way.
Take Criticism Positively
Criticism is a part of everyone’s life. It can be from work, family, and friends, but you shouldn’t let it be something negative in your life. Just because someone criticized your actions, what you said or did shouldn’t mean that you stop believing in yourself.
It means that you should look at yourself and decide whether there is a way to improve. Avoid going into defense mode since you will block it out and it will always be at the back of your mind. Accept corrections, and if the other person is not right, you can rest with the knowledge that you have done your best.
Stop Looking For Trouble
The final most important way to transform your thoughts into positive ones is to stop looking for negatives where there are none. If there is already a negative thought in mind come to terms with it and deal with it. However, don’t go looking for it. This enables your brain to adopt positive thinking automatically. You start feeling safe, and your self-esteem goes up.
The best way to transform negative talk into the positive talk is by acknowledging what you are feeling as opposed to blocking it. Stopping shows that you haven’t dealt with the problem you’ve just put a shield in front of it. When your guard comes down, everything may crumble. Stop, analyze, understand, then finally transform.
As we can see here, these tips require you to be proactive in your mindset and actively take steps that are going to help to bring you more joy. It can be hard to change who you are surrounded by or finding humor in a bad situation, but it will all help.
Another key aspect is that patience is required. It’s hard to change habits and don’t get down if you struggle at the start. Keep practicing these tips and you’ll achieve a greater level of calm and happiness.
All that’s left to do is wish you the best of luck on your journey to a more positive mindset. It will make you happier and more likely to be successful in all areas of your life.
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By Anshjeet Singh